Here’s a hilarious, rather interesting piece written by Joseph Edgar concerning the fall out between Coach Sunday Oliseh and Vincent Enyeama.  Have a nice... Be Careful Sunday Oliseh – By Joseph Edgar (A Must Read)

Here’s a hilarious, rather interesting piece written by Joseph Edgar concerning the fall out between Coach Sunday Oliseh and Vincent Enyeama.  Have a nice ready (Satire, Sarcasm, Pun) intended

sundau-oliseh

“Look I am very angry this morning.

Why should Oliseh tell my town man Vincent Eyeama to not only shut up but get security men to walk him out of the grounds. Look this is nothing but racism. Oliseh has never liked Akwa Ibom people since he lost his first girlfriend who happens to be ibibio. He has since been carrying this chip on his shoulder and could not control himself when he saw my brother Vincent do so well in his career.

He has no right to tell my brother shut up. You too shut up Oliseh, you too gerrout. What is that? How many goals did you even score for Nigeria with your yellow paw paw face. You are lucky I am not near you otherwise I would have squeezed your ear and kicked you in the bum. Go and watch all recent Nigerian matches and see the way Vincent has saved us when your Igbo brothers where busy fooling themselves on the field.

We ibibio people are ready to leave Nigeria because of this matter. This is not that ye ye massob struggle where they keep shouting Biafra at night and in the morning go and open their shops in the market to sell. We will go, we will go and join Cameroun so that Vincent will be given his respect.

I don’t even care what he did or didn’t do. You will respect him simply because he is an Ibibio man that is all. I demand a full apology to the whole Ibibio nation within the next 24 hours otherwise we will instruct our Senator to look for your Senator and tell him to shut up too and where that does not work, we will ask our Governor to tell your own Governor shut up.

What is that? This disrespect must stop. Nigerians don’t respect Ibibio people. We gave you guys edika Idong, we gave you guys fine well rounded women, we gave you guys, Akpabio and his uncommon transformation and we gave you guys Etim Esin. We demand respect and we must get it. Remember we have oil, we have palm oil, we have my mother and we have Uyo one of the greatest modern cities of the world. We are taking this matter seriously and will definitely come out with a powerful position demanding our respect as a people.

Who be this Oliseh sef, a godfather gifted coach. What has he even achieved, how many matches has he won since he became coach, come dey tell Vincent to shut up. He is even lucky, if na me, I for kick am. He needs to get training on leadership and how to manage a team of egosmaniacs. Vincent has paid his dues and has been recognized world over and no matter what should be given his respect as a very senior member of the team no matter the situation.

I swear it’s because he is Ibibio that is why. Can Oliseh try a Yoruba player like that. OPC and the Oshodi boys would be on his scrawny neck or can he try an Igbo player Ohaneze and Massob will show him. It is because he has looked and is seeing house boys and house girls that he thinks Vincent has no support that is why he can open that his ye ye mouth to tell an international world class player to shut up.

I hereby give Oliseh a 24 hour notice to send an unreserved apology to the Ibibio nation otherwise we will unleash our Ekpe masquerade and 1,000 naked Ibibio virgins on him and let’s see if he will survive it. I will personally place a hex on him making sure he doesn’t win any match again until he is disgracefully kicked out of the team and into the River Niger where the hungry fishes will chew out that his mouth. Yeye dey smell.”

Joseph Edgar is an investment banker who writes as a hobby.

He blogs from a witty, satirical  point of view at josephedgarng.blogspot.com

 

 

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